1. |
Am I dead yet?
03:51
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sometimes it’s hard to say
when you’re just having a rough day
and everything seems so romantic
when there’s time and space away
is there a way out of this?
is there a way out?
is there a way out of this?
is there a way out?
inside my brain
you’ll find a cluttered room
just dying to be clean again
but it always speaks too soon
i’m not dead yet, but this doesn’t feel so great
i’m not dead yet, but i’d like to take a break
is there a way out of this?
is there a way out?
is there a way out of this?
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2. |
Mesa
03:06
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i thought we’d settle down in mesa, arizona
i thought you heard the words, heard the words that i told ya
we can only hurt ourselves for so long
we can only hurt each other til it all goes wrong
together we made flowers out of weeds
we jumped in garbage instead of leaves
unscratch my skinny legs and arms
wait til the water’s calm
together we made flowers out of weeds
we jumped in garbage instead of leaves
unscratch my skinny legs and arms
wait til the water’s calm
and i know, i know each moment is fleeting
i hold my breath as you’re breathing
with my kaleidoscope vision, i passed out in your kitchen
we can only hurt ourselves for so long
we can only hurt each other til it all goes wrong
i thought we’d settle down in mesa, arizona
i thought you heard the words, heard the words that i told ya
we can only hurt ourselves for so long
we can only hurt each other til it all goes wrong
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3. |
Too Old for This
03:22
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TOO OLD FOR THIS
they say just write what you know
but lately, that’s been getting old
not feeling sad about it
so i stay in on Friday night
try to avoid those city lights
i wanna scream about it
i can’t pretend that it’s all good again
i can’t pretend i feel the same
i can’t pretend that i don’t cringe a bit
when i hear you say my name
don’t say my name
and i don’t wanna think about this or you anymore
and i don’t wanna think about this or you anymore
and i don’t wanna think about this or you anymore
they say just write what you know
but lately that’s been getting old
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4. |
Bus Ticket
04:06
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it was a wonderful puddle i played in
and i was so young when it hit me
you think my life is a vacation
but i’m adjusting to this medication
so i can feel more and care less
so i can get this shit off my chest
and you wouldn’t resent me
for the stuff that i cannot do
like waking up early
or getting day drunk with you
it’s not the fall that radicalized me
it’s what happened when i hit the ground
but this is the new me
and i won’t apologize
yeah, this is the new me
and i hope that you realize
that i was born strong, like the ones that made me
and i was made tough, like the one that raised me
this is my last call
this is my rock bottom
this is my curtain call
this is my bus ticket
*** lyrical nod to Bob Nanna of Braid
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5. |
Easy to Love
03:37
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i spent the past six months inside
feeling restless and confined
another drained excuse and reason
i’ve got one for every season
i know you’re built from patient skin
but i don’t want this all to wear you thin
and maybe you will find someone easier to love
maybe i was blind to what you’re looking for
and maybe you will find someone easier to love
sometimes i can’t articulate
the words trapped in my head
the way the morning does its dizzy dance
and i can’t get out of bed
i learn too late, i learn too late
you like me the way you like cigarettes
always looking for a bad situation
you like me the way you like cigarettes
always waiting on that good conversation
we’re only as good as our worst moments
are we only as good as the worst?
we’re only as good as our worst moments
are we only as good as the worst?
and maybe you will find someone easier to love
maybe i was was blind to what you’re looking for
and maybe you will find someone easier to love
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6. |
Side Sleepers
03:07
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having trouble with myself these days
i’m caged by my despondent ways
i wake up late, and leave early
but its the crux of me, to communicate cryptically
but i always speak softly when
i’m talking to you
my friends and my habits, they stick to me like glue
but i always speak freely
when i’m venting to you
but it’s no consolation, for the way that i act
i will push you away, i will push you back
and you say “you should get your shit together,
you could be so much better,
if you just get your shit together,
and know when you’re right, you’re right”
you see the ugly parts i wish you never knew
it’s hard to sit and hide when i’m always seeking you
will you love me still, when i can’t get out of bed?
will you love me still, with all these sick thoughts in my head?
i should get my shit together
i could be so much better
if i just get my shit together
and know when i’m right, i’m right
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7. |
Certain for Miles
04:33
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i always tend to doubt
what everyone seems so certain about
always tethered to the dirt
comprised of legs and hands that hurt
from crawling away
i wanted to stay
when the world bears down on me
will i laugh at its audacity,
and be able to comprehend?
when the world bears down on me
will i laugh at its audacity,
and be able to start again?
it doesn’t make much sense
i’m older, but I’m always on the fence
and i always seem to doubt
how everyone seems to have it all
all figured out
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8. |
Phonics failed me
03:13
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all the books i never finished, all the songs i skipped
all the things i tried to hold on, but i let them slip away
now i say sorry like my mother
i try and swim, i’m treading water
now i say sorry like my mother
i try and swim, i’m treading water
and it takes more, to put me back together
and it takes more, than it does to fall apart
and it takes more, to put me back together
and it takes more, than it does to fall apart
than to finish what i start
for every look i took for granted, and every meal i skipped
everything i tried to hold on, but i let it slip away
now i say sorry like my mother
i try and swim, i’m treading water
now i say sorry like my mother
i try and swim, i’m treading water
all the books i never finished, all the songs i skipped
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9. |
Grumpy's
03:33
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hey reduce you to somebody’s partner, that’s something i hate
minimize all the things that you offer, like you’re scraps on a plate
and i see you spinning around in a horrible place
where your friends aren’t your friends anymore
but we all have the cards, they’re just lost in our pockets
we’re picking up change and the shit that they toss us
we all have the cards
you’ll see
don’t let them bring you there
don’t let them cut your hair
don’t let them bring you there
don’t let them cut your hair
is that your friend or your drinking buddy?
your first call, or the understudy?
was i your friend or your drinking buddy?
your first call, or the understudy?
you’ve some real good friends on the weekends
i’ve got some real good friends on the weekends
and then they’re gone
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10. |
Follow
02:07
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i have these feet that follow me
and a brain that won’t catch up
i have these things inside of me i’m always throwing up
did things change?
or did i stay the same?
did things change, or did i stay the same?
i have this fear that breathes in me, and i don’t know where it fits
i’ve got this funny way of acting like i never give a shit
but who can i blame?
when i stay the same?
who can i blame when i stay the same?
i’m a mirage, and you will not find me
if you’re looking forward, you’re right behind me
i’m a mirage, and you will not find me
if you’re looking forward, you’re right behind me
i have these feet that follow me, and a brain that won’t catch up
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11. |
Dust
03:29
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how soon it was over
how fast it fell down
like a movie fast forward
it all spun around
and now my life feels like an old museum
dust filled relics of who i am
remember the good things that happened here
retrace the lines until they reappear
remember the good things that happened here
retrace the lines until they reappear
they reappear
life will slap you in your face, and it can put you in your place
that’s not what i fear, i just never saw it happen here
life will slap me in my face, and it can put me in my place
that’s not what i fear, i just never saw it happen here
i just never saw it happen here
remember the good things that happened here
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12. |
World
03:37
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i spent all day and night
laughing at the past, running from the light
i spent all day and night
trying to find something to like
the world is wide
the world is wide
and i forget that all the time
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Cayetana Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
HIGH KICKING. BOISTEROUS. PHILADELPHIANS.
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